Vice – VBS.TV
History 101
widely circulated web junk:
For those that don’t know about history … Here is a condensed version:
Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter.
The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the beer. These were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:
1. Liberals, and
2. Conservatives.
Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That’s how villages were formed.
Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to B-B-Q at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement.
Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q’s and doing the sewing, fetching, and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the Liberal movement.
Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest became known as girlie-men. Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy, group hugs, and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that conservatives provided.
Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass.
Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare. Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of their women have higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn’t fair to make the pitcher also bat.
Conservatives drink domestic beer, mostly Bud. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, corporate executives, athletes, members of the military, airline pilots and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.
Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America . They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing.
Here ends today’s lesson in world history:
It should be noted that a Liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to the above before forwarding it.
A Conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute truth of this history that it will be forwarded immediately to other true believers and to more liberals just to tick them off.
And there you have it. Let your next action reveal your true self.
Bad day at the office?
Greening Snail Mail
Greening Snail Mail
by: Madalina Iacob
Earth Class Mail can shred, recycle or digitally archive your mail.
For a frequent traveler like David Recordon, sorting through piles of mail after he returned from trips was always a hassle, not to mention an environmental challenge. So, the blogger and entrepreneur signed up with Earth Class Mail six months ago and now receives his mail electronically. “Now I am connected to my mail no matter where I am,” Recordon says.
Seattle-based Earth Class Mail scans all the envelopes you receive and sends the images to your online account. You view the images and then tell Earth Class Mail which envelopes to shred, recycle, archive or send to you. The cost: $10 to $60 per month. “Seventy-five percent of our mail never leaves the premises, except as fiber going to be recycled or shredded,” says founder and Chief Executive Ron Wiener.
Wiener started the company in 2004 with a team of talented experts–including software engineers from Microsoft (nasdaq: MSFT – news – people ) and the former U.S. Postal Service assistant postmaster general of logistics–and an old mail sorter he bought on eBay (nasdaq: EBAY – news – people ) for $18,000.
Always be closing (ABC)
How to Make Money From Your Blog
How to Make Money From Your Blog
StevePavlina.com was launched on Oct 1st, 2004. By April 2005 it was averaging $4.12/day in income. Now it brings in over $200/day $1000/day (updated as of 10/29/06). I didn’t spend a dime on marketing or promotion. In fact, I started this site with just $9 to register the domain name, and everything was bootstrapped from there. Would you like to know how I did it?
This article is seriously long (over 7300 words), but you’re sure to get your money’s worth (hehehe). I’ll even share some specifics. If you don’t have time to read it now, feel free to bookmark it or print it out for later.
by Steve Pavlina
How Liberals Celebrate
And the Money Comes Rolling In
Markus Frind works one hour a day and brings in $10 million a year. How does he do it? He keeps things simple.
By Max Chafkin | Jan 1, 2009
At 10 o’clock in the morning, Markus Frind leaves his apartment and heads to work.
It’s a short walk through downtown Vancouver, British Columbia, but somehow the trek feels arduous. This is not because Frind is lazy. Well, Frind is a bit lazy, but that’s another matter. The problem is that he is still getting used to the idea of a commute that involves traveling farther than the distance between the living room and the bedroom.
Frind’s online dating company, Plenty of Fish, is newly located on the 26th floor of a downtown skyscraper with a revolving restaurant on the roof. The gleaming space could easily house 30 employees, but as Frind strides in, it is eerily quiet — just a room with new carpets, freshly painted walls, and eight flat-screen computer monitors. Frind drops his bag and plops himself down in front of one of them.
He looks down at his desk. There’s a $180,000 order waiting for his signature. It’s from VideoEgg, a San Francisco company that is paying Frind to run a series of Budweiser commercials in Canada. Like most of his advertising deals, this one found Frind. He hadn’t even heard of VideoEgg until a week ago. But then, you tend to attract advertisers’ attention when you are serving up 1.6 billion webpages each month.
Stuff white people like
http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/
and other links:
Texts from Last Night
Last Night’s Party
Napkin Nights
Fuck My Life
My Life is Average
Look at this fucking hipster
Hipster Runoff
Late Night Shots
Why the F(ck do you have a kid?
http://whythefuckdoyouhaveakid.com/
Why not right? lol
Ashera, world’s most expensive cat breed at $22000
Jack: Greg, how come you don’t like cats?
Greg: I don’t not like cats. I-I just-- I just prefer dogs. I mean, I’m just more of a dog kind of, you know--Come home, wagging their little tails, happy to see you kind of--
Jack: You need that assurance? You prefer an emotionally shallow animal?
Greg: I--
Jack: You see, Greg, when you yell at a dog, his tail will go between his legs and cover his genitals, his ears will go down. A dog is very easy to break, but cats make you work for their affection. They don’t sell out the way dogs do.
Greg: Huh.
Get Off Glenn Beck’s Phone!
Get Off Glenn Beck’s Phone!
by Mike Krumboltz
Glenn Beck is an emotional guy. One minute he’s crying because he loves his country, and the next he’s suggesting California be kicked out of the Union. Earlier this week, Mr. Beck had a meltdown while “debating” health care with a caller to his radio program.
As clips of the exchange made their way across the Web, lookups on “glenn beck” and the far more telling “glenn beck loses his mind” surged into the stratosphere. Assuming you can tolerate listening to people scream at each other, the clip is actually quite amusing.
The caller comes on strong, arguing that the United States needs universal health care. Mr. Beck disagrees. Both sides talk (loudly) at the same time for a while; then Beck loses his cool and screams that the caller should get off his phone.
To be fair, the clip made its way onto the Web courtesy of MediaMatters4America, a watchdog group that goes after conservative pundits like Beck. According to their channel on YouTube, the group is “dedicated to comprehensively monitoring, analyzing, and correcting conservative misinformation in the U.S. media.”
There’s no foul language, but there is a heckuva lot of blustering and righteous indignation on both sides. Enjoy!
Harnessing Entrepreneurial Manic-Depression: Making the Rollercoaster Work for You
Harnessing Entrepreneurial Manic-Depression: Making the Rollercoaster Work for You
Written by Tim Ferriss
Stoicism 101: A Practical Guide for Entrepreneurs
Stoicism 101: A Practical Guide for Entrepreneurs
Written by Tim Ferriss
Thanks Dad
May 2009
2005 Chevrolet Corvette
Could not be more thrilled with this
To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream, not only plan, but also believe -Anatole France